Budget-ary concerns. Part II.

My dad thinks spending a lot of money on a wedding that’s “probably not going to last” is ridiculous. I say: way to romanticize marriage, Dad. My feelings on the subject… it’s the one day you get to be the star, the one day all eyes are on you, the one day that really begins the rest of your life with the person that you promise to love forever. What’s the harm in showing your feelings for the love of your life through a big celebration?

My family is big on saving, big on finding great deals. What they’re not big on? Throwing grand affairs. (I often wonder where I really came from.) I want the perfect dress, perfect food, a great cake… a day that all my guests will remember for years to come.

I’ve run the gamut when it comes to weddings. I’ve gone to the extreme wedding with a seven-course meal, four dessert tables, ice sculptures and a crazy-fun band. I’ve also attended my father’s second wedding, where we all wore flowered sundresses, and the reception? It was in our backyard. And of course, every wedding in between.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great to save and spend within your means. That’s why I shop at Forever 21 to buy my $4.80 t-shirts, $5.80 sunglasses, $9.50 shorts and $19.80 denim. It’s the reason I go to Target (or even Walmart) for my cookware. But I don’t believe in sacrificing. I can’t stress enough that this is your day. My stepfather told me recently that when he and my mom were getting married, our pastor told him that he wished he had spent more on his wedding. And that’s coming from a man whose income is based on a congregation’s offering.

I think you should do everything you can to make it the day you’ve always dreamed of. No, I don’t think you should go to the bank and get a loan (who wants to start off their new life in debt?) but I do think if you have the means, go for it.

Budget-ary concerns.

My best friend is getting married in 15 months (in fact, theknot.com just informed her, followed by seven exclamation points. No more, no less, no lie.) She started freaking out, but not really freaking out, because, well, that’s just not her. We were chatting about her budget for the upcoming nuptials, what’s important to her and what she can kind of “skimp” on. (A discussion I’ve just recently had with my mother and stepfather, where they proceeded to laugh because I’m nowhere near getting married.)

When I think about it, and I mean really think about it, it’s hard to pick something to truly hold back on. My initial picks as all-important-must-use-the-big-bucks-on were my dress (because don’t you want to look absolutely gorgeous on your wedding day?), food (because that is definitely something the guests will always remember and talk about the next day) and the cake (because my mom and I happen to be amateur cake decorators ourselves).

Now, I look through the categories and think about others…

• DJ – well, I work at a radio station and music is my life, so that really does need to be top notch.
• Photo and/or Video - #1 I’m absolutely in love with the wedding videos that make it look like a real movie. And #2 it’s something I went to school for, so how am I going to sit back and watch someone botch that up? As for photography, I can’t wait to see professional candids of myself that actually look good.

As for my dear friend…granted she’s getting married in New Jersey and everything is automatically more expensive, she’s paying something like $12,000 for food. $100 a head. Insanity, I must say. However, her cake may be included. My memory is fuzzy.

My friend is like me. There’s no way she’ll sacrifice when it comes to the DJ. She’ll jab the man in the stomach and start playing some of our classic mixed CD’s from our college days entitled such things like “the soft hand” and “the classic what” before she lets him play the wrong song.

I’m afraid for her on the photography/videography front. Our group loves photos. Last time we were together we pulled out every album we had and reminisced over the good old days. Or we would spend hours on Yahoo Photos poring over a night famously called “helllloooooo.” So really, how do you skimp on photography?

The classic “every table has a disposable camera” idea has been around for a long time. And it’s a great way for your friends and family to get involved in your wedding day memories. I know when my mom got remarried in ’94 she didn’t have a photographer at the reception. And your friends can get pretty creative when left with a camera.

Digital cameras have really helped in that department as well. I’m not sure that I know a single person who doesn’t have a digital camera, or at least access to one these days. And this day in age, the Internet makes it so easy to share photos and videos between friends.

So it’s not so impossible to “skimp” on photography. You’ll still get the same memories, but for much less money.