To Veil or Not to Veil?

I've long held the position that I'm not going to wear a veil at my wedding. They're too traditional for me. But recently looking at photos, veils can be really adorable. They don't have to be covering your face. You don't have to do the "lift the veil to kiss the bride."

And to top it off you have a choice of the type of veil to work into your wedding day attire.

Under...

Or over...

Decisions, decisions...

Top photo from Fashion Style You Blog

Bottom photo from Strictly Weddings

DIY... Invitations

Last November, we tried something different with our invitations for the Star and Moon Bridal Show, making them ourselves.

We've always been looking for the perfect invitation. Cost-effective, appealing to the eye and not ridiculously troublesome. Something I'm sure many brides are thinking about, too.

We've gone the order-them-from-the-store route. Too expensive. We printed them ourselves. The ink rubbed off the paper. We ordered them online. Professional looking, but definitely not captivating enough.

So last year we invaded Office Max, Staples, Michael's, A.C. Moore and JoAnn's and finally came up with something we could really be proud of. It was easy to do, though time consuming. But in the end, I felt a great sense of accomplishment. They were simple. We bought nice silver/gray metallic cardstock, printed the wording on plain white cardstock (with this fabulous font I found on the web) and at the top made a bow out of white ribbon and strung mini pearl-type beads.

It ended up costing us about .16 per invitation and they weren't too shabby. I realized that when I get married, I could easily do my own invitations, spending a bit more money for a touch better quality and extravagance.

For today, a sound off.

Fair warning for all brides-to-be: know the people you’re working with. Know your wedding vendors, know their personalities, make sure you absolutely mesh.

One thing you don’t want at your wedding is a wedding-day-horror-story. I have yet to witness anything extreme, but recently (or a year ago) at my cousin’s wedding, I experienced a reception hall that was less-than-accommodating.

My mom and I have become cake decorators and we put together a simple and classic cake for my cousin’s big day. When we arrived at the venue, they told us we couldn’t get in until an hour before the reception, contradicting what they had previously told my Aunt and Uncle. Besides the point that we were family and would be at the wedding at that time, my aunt had also asked me to help with wedding ceremony coordination because of my extreme love for them. And it didn’t stop there, they told us we didn’t have enough cake (at the end we had an entire tier and then some left over) and were disgusted to see “amateurs” walking in the door (“you made the cake?”)

And throughout the reception there were other problems. A weird, convoluted way of marking who was eating what made it confusing for our waitress and she threw a hissy fit. And later in the evening I overheard the wait staff complaining about the children attending the reception.

I personally found their behavior unacceptable. It’s the couple’s day. Put on your happy face. They’re paying you good money.

Budget-ary concerns. Part II.

My dad thinks spending a lot of money on a wedding that’s “probably not going to last” is ridiculous. I say: way to romanticize marriage, Dad. My feelings on the subject… it’s the one day you get to be the star, the one day all eyes are on you, the one day that really begins the rest of your life with the person that you promise to love forever. What’s the harm in showing your feelings for the love of your life through a big celebration?

My family is big on saving, big on finding great deals. What they’re not big on? Throwing grand affairs. (I often wonder where I really came from.) I want the perfect dress, perfect food, a great cake… a day that all my guests will remember for years to come.

I’ve run the gamut when it comes to weddings. I’ve gone to the extreme wedding with a seven-course meal, four dessert tables, ice sculptures and a crazy-fun band. I’ve also attended my father’s second wedding, where we all wore flowered sundresses, and the reception? It was in our backyard. And of course, every wedding in between.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great to save and spend within your means. That’s why I shop at Forever 21 to buy my $4.80 t-shirts, $5.80 sunglasses, $9.50 shorts and $19.80 denim. It’s the reason I go to Target (or even Walmart) for my cookware. But I don’t believe in sacrificing. I can’t stress enough that this is your day. My stepfather told me recently that when he and my mom were getting married, our pastor told him that he wished he had spent more on his wedding. And that’s coming from a man whose income is based on a congregation’s offering.

I think you should do everything you can to make it the day you’ve always dreamed of. No, I don’t think you should go to the bank and get a loan (who wants to start off their new life in debt?) but I do think if you have the means, go for it.

Real.Simple.Weddings

I’m jealous.

I was reading the Weddings issue of Real Simple magazine. Tips on how to save on Photography, Reception, Food, Flowers, DJ… It’s amazing what they come up with.

Then there are the real-life stories of couples that spent less than $10,000 on their weddings. And I’m jealous. I wonder, “How can they do that?” So I continue reading and finally I come across the answer: they invited no more than 100 people.

As many times as my mother has told me that life is not fair, I will say this: that’s not fair.

I’m not rich. I know this and have accepted it. I’m also not very simple. I have ideas for the very-distant-future happiest-day-of-my-life. Some of them are pretty grand.

Herein lies the problem. My family alone is nearly 100 people. And we’re big party people.

So what is a girl to do?

Start saving now. Or, marry an orphan.

The Toast.

At my cousin's wedding a few weeks ago, my sister and I were sitting listening to the toasts. When the Maid of Honor was speaking, my sister says to me, "Don't ask me to me your Maid of Honor because I'm not giving a toast." I turned and said, "Don't worry because you are and you will." And that began our second (or third?) fight of the weekend. But that's another story for another therapist.

Later on, my mom tells me that I must have misunderstood her, that she simply does not want to speak in front of such a large crowd. Of course I knew what she meant, but I didn't feel that was the time, the place or the manner in which to bring it up.

As of late, I've got to thinking. Who says the Maid of Honor and Best Man have to be the ones to give a toast? How many of you have been at a reception and the most awkward part was the Best Man who stumbles over his words or the Maid of Honor that freezes in the middle of the speech? At my friend's wedding a few years back, the Best Man was the Youth Director at my church, and in front of many of his Middle School and High School students says something about "keeping it between the sheets." My mother and I looked at each other in shock and have never looked at him the same again.

So why not your extremely witty good friend or your cousin who seems to have a way with words? As long as it's special to you, that's all that matters.

My new favorite website! And it’s good for weddings too!

I remember being a child near Christmastime and my favorite day was “Christmas Wish List” day. My sister and I would each type up on the computer (in 'Notepad' because what else did you use in the early '90s?) the extravagant presents we wished to receive. Our own TVs with cable in our rooms, cell phones… neither would ever come true. It was a glorious day of wishful thinking and relentless hoping.

But these days it seems I’ve come to dislike the gift-giving holidays. Never mind the part where I’m horrible at coming up with gifts to give others, I dislike telling others what I want. It seems almost selfish to me. I’m sure I have some sort of weird skewed vision of the subject now because clearly I didn’t mind when I was younger. As of late, I hate the idea of listing off things I want to another party, whether it be friend or family.

However I’ve come across a way to avoid it. And it’s so 21st century. Wishpot.com is by far the coolest thing I’ve seen lately. And something I’ve long been thinking would be an excellent idea in the age of Internet shopping. The concept is quite simple: you download a little tool and when you’re on a website that has a fabulous find (a must-have, if you will), click the button in your toolbar, fill out a bit of information and it adds the item to your list on Wishpot.com. On top of that, they have a wedding registry section. Perfect. (And once you’ve graduated to the next stage of life, parenting!!, they have a baby registry!)

So make sure you check this website out. They even have a one-minute instructional video. And as with almost everything these days, you can add a “Wishpot Widget” to your Myspace or Facebook. So I’m going to go register right now and delve more deeply into my fabulous find.

So next Christmas I will DEFINITELY be using Wishpot.com. And sending the link to prospective buyers. As for not feeling selfish? My New Year’s Resolution.

Budget-ary concerns.

My best friend is getting married in 15 months (in fact, theknot.com just informed her, followed by seven exclamation points. No more, no less, no lie.) She started freaking out, but not really freaking out, because, well, that’s just not her. We were chatting about her budget for the upcoming nuptials, what’s important to her and what she can kind of “skimp” on. (A discussion I’ve just recently had with my mother and stepfather, where they proceeded to laugh because I’m nowhere near getting married.)

When I think about it, and I mean really think about it, it’s hard to pick something to truly hold back on. My initial picks as all-important-must-use-the-big-bucks-on were my dress (because don’t you want to look absolutely gorgeous on your wedding day?), food (because that is definitely something the guests will always remember and talk about the next day) and the cake (because my mom and I happen to be amateur cake decorators ourselves).

Now, I look through the categories and think about others…

• DJ – well, I work at a radio station and music is my life, so that really does need to be top notch.
• Photo and/or Video - #1 I’m absolutely in love with the wedding videos that make it look like a real movie. And #2 it’s something I went to school for, so how am I going to sit back and watch someone botch that up? As for photography, I can’t wait to see professional candids of myself that actually look good.

As for my dear friend…granted she’s getting married in New Jersey and everything is automatically more expensive, she’s paying something like $12,000 for food. $100 a head. Insanity, I must say. However, her cake may be included. My memory is fuzzy.

My friend is like me. There’s no way she’ll sacrifice when it comes to the DJ. She’ll jab the man in the stomach and start playing some of our classic mixed CD’s from our college days entitled such things like “the soft hand” and “the classic what” before she lets him play the wrong song.

I’m afraid for her on the photography/videography front. Our group loves photos. Last time we were together we pulled out every album we had and reminisced over the good old days. Or we would spend hours on Yahoo Photos poring over a night famously called “helllloooooo.” So really, how do you skimp on photography?

The classic “every table has a disposable camera” idea has been around for a long time. And it’s a great way for your friends and family to get involved in your wedding day memories. I know when my mom got remarried in ’94 she didn’t have a photographer at the reception. And your friends can get pretty creative when left with a camera.

Digital cameras have really helped in that department as well. I’m not sure that I know a single person who doesn’t have a digital camera, or at least access to one these days. And this day in age, the Internet makes it so easy to share photos and videos between friends.

So it’s not so impossible to “skimp” on photography. You’ll still get the same memories, but for much less money.